


Subtlety Is A Lost Art

by geekinlikeaboss



Category: Avengers, Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel
Genre: Fluff, Ironpool, M/M, Porn, Rare Pair, dadTony, mild NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 06:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13335612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekinlikeaboss/pseuds/geekinlikeaboss





	Subtlety Is A Lost Art

“So?”

“So what?”

“So do you think he'll like me? I mean what if he doesn't like me? Or what if he thinks this is weird? I mean it's kinda weird so yeah mad props if he calls us on it but you know I want him to like me too and if he doesn't you're not gonna keep me not that I'd blame you who'd pick a guy like me over their kid but...”

“Wade. Wade. Wade.” Tony put his hands on the man's shoulder, feeling a little surge of enjoyment that he had to look up as he got the guy to settle down. “Take a deep breath with me. Okay? Bad air out, good air in. There we go. Look, this is his first visit to the tower. He can't wait to get here. I just don't wanna...you know. Overwhelm him. And he's not my kid. See? It's all gonna be alright.”

“Oh my god here comes the limo!” Wade looked at the black car pulling up into the parking lot. “Gez Tony you sent a car for the kid? You know most parents just pick them up when they've been away at college.”

“He's not my kid.” Tony repeated shortly. Sometimes he swore it was like Wade wasn't even listening. Or he was intentionally ignoring what was said because it didn't fit his internal narrative of this situation. Sometimes it could be difficult to pick up on what the man was thinking. Other times it was just simply impossible. Right now Wade seemed to be under the impression that Peter was A: Tony's son and B: that somehow he, Wade, was Peter's new...step-father? Well that was par the course. Still, Wade had become an invaluable part of the group. Sort of a reserve Avenger who wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. If he needed this in the moment to feel stable...

The limo pulled up and Tony could almost hear Peter's excitement. “Remember, be nice.” Tony reminded him firmly and Wade saluted. 

“Right. Maximum Effort!” he promised and crossed his heart as the door opened and the young man came out. Wade looked him up and down and immediately slumped his head to one side. “Awww. Hey there lil guy! Look at you... so...tiny. Why didn't you tell me he was tiny? What nobody been feeding this boy his Wheaties?”

“I'm not tiny. Who are you?” Peter asked, staring at the red masked man like he was about to be threatened. To be fair, his last encounter with a masked dude had not turned out so well. “Is this another Avenger?” 

“Sorta. Kinda of a...B team thing. Anyhow! Welcome to the tower kiddo. We'll be giving the backstage tour real quick, showing you where you can set things up.” Tony tried to step in, but getting between Wade and anything he was even remotely interested in was sort of a lost cause. 

“I'm Captain Deadpool!” He stepped over Tony's lines so effortlessly, hands on his hips, head jerked up in a jaunty, classic hero pose. 

Neither man responded for a long, uncomfortably awkward moment. “Captain Deadpool?” Peter shrugged, his backpack still hanging onto one shoulder. “Why not just go for Deadpool. I mean Captain sounds kind of presumptuous. U-u-unless you're really a captain of something then it makes total sense.”

Wade looked crestfallen. “No I'm not a captain of anything. Are you actually a spider? Huh? No. So there.”

Tony groaned. “If we could get moving?” He pulled Wade by the arm, dragging him as Peter followed. “What did I say?” 

“Sorry! Sorry! Kids cheeks as fuck.” Wade sighed to himself. “Weasel was right. It's a crappy name. Too much. To prissy.” 

“Come on man shape up help me show the kid around.” Tony insisted and turned back to Peter. “Now the downstairs Lobby is mostly for show. Give people kind of a grand entrance while they visit. You know really let them feel like they're part of the experience. Next two floors are all memorabilia. Stuff from different battles, pictures with foreign dignitaries, all that stuff.”

Peter looked around, trying to take everything in as quickly as he could. “Really? You just leave this out here for the public to just come in and touch.” He stopped as they passed by a hunk of what had been part of the big sky bugs that had flown through when the chitauri invaded. 

“I told him it was egotistical.” Wade insisted. “Not saying you've got a big ego, Iron Butt. Everyone knows you've got a huge one. Ego. That is. Thought I'm sure everything else about you is huge to. Not that I'd know. Personally. I mean I've heard. Seen the uh...the videos. Online.” Wade glanced over at the young man and suddenly felt very sheepish. “You know the internet. Can't click a porn link and not get porn.”

“I don't...I don't search for...”

“Oh come on kid you're among friends.” Wade gurked as Tony grabbed him by the arm and swung him around roughly.

“Really?!” He snapped and waved for Happy to come over and finish the tour. “I'll see you up on the 18th floor okay. We'll help you get settled in. Happy show the kid around get him his keycard and everything while I deal with our guest.” It killed Tony to see the look on Peter's face. He knew how much the young man had looked forward to getting shown around Avenger's tower by him. Maybe it had been a mistake to let Wade join in but the guy wasn't exactly someone you could just put off. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh so many thing! You want a list?” Wade tried for a smile under the mask, but it was pretty clear that he knew he'd pushed a mite too far. “I got carried away! I'm sorry! I get talky when I get nervous and then everything just keeps spewing out!” He twiddled his thumbs and gave Tony a look like he was a kicked puppy. Which considering his whole face was covered, that was fairly impressive. 

Tony groaned. “Look I know you're trying okay. I appreciate that. But you've gotta back off. Let him get used to the weirdness of everything here first. Then you can start letting him know your special brand of...eclecticism.” 

“You mean that I”m fuck up from pretty much the follicles down?” Wade's tone dropped a bit and his shoulders slumped. “I'm sorry Tony.”

~Oh god save me.~ Tony sighed. “It's okay. I know you're trying really hard. Come on just lighten up. One step at a time.” It hit him out of the blue, the way the man almost seemed to be wagging his tail to hear Tony's sudden approval. Yeah Wade was trying to make a good impression on Peter. But in truth, the one he was really putting so much effort into impressing...was Tony. He was trying to show TONY that he could be well behaved! Showing TONY that he could be an upstanding guy.

~That's somewhat new territory.~ Sure Wade flirted with him, but it was the same sort of flirtation Tony offered everyone. Insincere, bordering on a sexual harassment lawsuit. Okay actually with Wade it was likely to translate into just that. But it had never occurred to Tony that the man might actually want his approval. Which was kind of flattering. Okay very flattering. “Hey, come on. Let's let Happy finish the tour. You and me can go up and get some drinks or something.”

“You sure we should drink in front of the kid?” Wade asked.

“We won't be. I promise you it's gonna take Happy all day to drag Peter out of R&D and thats still ten floors away.” Tony smiled as he led Wade to the elevator and pressed the button. It was the private shaft, which allowed people with the right keycode up the the top five floors. Tony leaned back against the handlebar for a few moments before turning to Wade. “So...hey interesting question time. Why do you want to be an Avenger so bad?”

“I thought I am an Avenger.” 

“You are, you are. Backup. In case we really need the help.” Tony didn't want him getting carried away, which he was likely to do. Bless the mans heart but if Tony found out Wilson was using the Avengers title to get free drinks he would not be surprised.

Wade paused for a long moment. “This wasn't in the interview process, but...uh...I've got some stuff...I did. Not exactly proud of it. Not ashamed either. I mean any job done right, right?” He straightened up. “I just want to try you know? Do a few things right for a change. Maybe build up some good karma to kinda offset the bad. Like those people planting trees to make up for taking a half an hour long shower.” 

Well, Tony had heard of worse reasons to want to do a little good in the world. “Okay. That kid down there? He wants to do a lot of good to. And he's probably never done anything worse than bump into someone and not said excuse me. So we need to show him that he's in the right place. I'm counting on you to help show him that. I need you to help me so we can help him. You'd be doing me a big solid, Wade.”

The man looked like he might start squealing. “Okay!” 

Tony couldn't help a smile drawing over his face. “Great. I know I can depend on you. Also...it wouldn't hurt if you could help me keep an eye on him. He wants to be in the big leagues so bad. I just don't want him going off and getting himself into a load of trouble all on his own.” Tony explained and held Wade's shoulder. “Don't interfere. Just...if you see him out on the town in his suit, shadow him. If he can handle it, fine. If not, step in and give him backup. But be discreet. You feel me?”

“Oh I'd like to feel you. OH! Yeah I got it. Shadow the kid. Make sure he gets his superhero legs.” Wade repeated as Tony turned a little pink around the cheeks. Wade noticed, and moved just a little bit closer. “You know erasing my bad debt isn't the only reason I joined up.”

“It's the jet, isn't it? I gotta tell you she's a smooth ride. Lands like a feather on a pillow and...” Tony jerked back as Wade moved up on him, closing the distance firmly. 

“You've got a really really well affirmed rep.” The man continued. “And I just wanna come out and be honest with you. If something I'm doing isn't exactly welcome...”

Tony licked his lips and slipped his fingers down over the belt loops. “You said...downstairs...that you found a video of me? Heh. Which one was it?” 

Wade floundered for a moment. “Uh...you with eight members of the 98 Dallas cheerleading squad.” 

“Ha! I remember that! Lovely ladies. But if you're looking for something a little more interesting, maybe you should look up a video called Iron Hung. I feel you'd get a lot more out of it.” Tony teased, letting himself slide up a little bit closer. It was a dangerous move. A RISKY as fuck move. But there was something risky about Wilson that he kind of liked. How long had it been since Pepper left? Since he felt like having fun with anyone at all? And all this flirting? It was kind of nice to know somebody out there was at least a little interested in him. 

Wade was about half a second from planting a kiss on the man. His lips were even puckered behind the lycra, when the doors opened and let one some of the staff members. Tony and Wade were on opposite sides of the elevator like someone had smacked them apart. Tony didn't usually care very much what other people thought, but he also wasn't too terribly keen on anybody leaking certain facts about his life to tabloids. Things were sensitive right now, especially with the accords still getting into place. And he didn't want to add any stress to it. 

The moment they were up to the private quarters, Wade mumbled something and headed off to is room, leaving Tony to stand there wondering if maybe he'd let it go too far. What he didn't realize was the second the man was behind a closed door, he grabbed for the laptop and typed Iron Hung into the PornHub search bar.

It took him a good ten minuets to find it. Or rather to find the full version of it. There were plenty of clips lasting between a minuet to five minuets, most of which showed a lot of stuff building up to the event but cut short when it came to any actual coitus. Still, he persisted, scrolling madly until he came upon the one marked as the full and complete video.

It was Tony, sure enough, in a swanky hotel room. It was fairly obvious that he knew a camera was there, and also pretty obvious that he was trying to pretend he didn't know. But there he was, in all his naked glory, sauntering over to the bed where a man Wade didn't recognize was laying down, watching him from the pillows. 

Apparently whoever had filmed this hadn't gotten any audio, but it was just as well. In fact it might even have counted for being better. Wade could not nothing but watch with rapt fascination as they two of them moved in on one another. A long, whining moan escaped his lips and Wade chewed on a pillow, feeling like he might just rip it apart from sheer frustration! This was magnificent! He knew it was goig to cost him, he was already starting to get hard as he saw Tony get to his knees on the bed, bow his head and start...

“I'm gonna die!” Wade gasped, pressing pause on the screen. “Oh my god I'm gonna...whew! I need ice water!” he fanned himself, taking a moment to gather his wits before pushing the play button again and watching the film play out. There was nothing that kinky about it, aside from the filming and the potential that Tony might not have intended for it to be released publicly. He was also looking right at the camera and winking a lot so at least Wade felt confident about that. Still, Tony had told him about the film, wanted for him to find it.

~He wanted me to see it. He legit wanted me to specifically go and find this video so I would see him with a guy.~ Wade took a deep breath to steady himself. He had kept his flirting to the more casual, teasing side of things. He hadn't wanted it to seem like he joined the Avengers just for the sake of flirting with Tony. He hadn't...it was more like a perk. But this...

Wade was resolute. Tomorrow. Not right now. Tony would be busy helping Peter settle in. Tomorrow... he was going to do the most brave thing he'd dared. He was going to ask Tony for a date.


End file.
